I got some jokes
not all are appropriate though, just a warning.
Btw, shouldn't this topic be in "Off Topic" section, not "Creativity"? anyways...:
Enjoy! Bad Jokes:
: Doctor! Doctor! Everytime I drink hot chocolate, my eye hurts!Doctor:
Try taking out the spoon.
-Why do mermaids use seashells as bras? Because D-shells are too big, and B-shells are too small!
What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup? You can mash potatoes, but you can't pea soup!
lol, the above two are better when said aloud.Cliche and overused Pickup-line:
Did you fall from heaven? Because you have the face of an angel!
* <3 *Bad Jokes (Cont.)
-What's brown and sticky?
-What's brown and sounds like a bell?
-What's red and bad for your teeth?
-A guy goes to his doctor for a checkup,
and the doctor tells him that he's gotta stop masturbating.
"Why's that, doctor?" the guy asks.
"Because I've gotta finish this exam."
-A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch. He picks it up and throws it across the street.
A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch.
The snail looks up and says, "What the f*ck was that all about?"
Modified cliche pickup-line:
Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause your face looks really messed up.
*SLAP*Bad Jokes (Cont.):
-During math class, a kid named Bobby wasn't paying attention to the teacher. The teacher saw this and asked him a question:
"Bobby, if three ducks were sitting on a fence, and I had a shotgun and shot one of the ducks, how many would be left?"
Bobby thought for a while, then said:
well, you would kill the duck you shot at and the other two would get
scared and fly away, so there would be zero ducks left."
"Hmm.. well the answer is supposed to be two," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking!"
"Well, teacher! Now I have a question to ask you!" replied Bobby.
three women came out of an icecream shop, and one was eating the ice
cream, one was sucking the ice cream, and one was just holding the ice
cream, which one do you think is married?"
"Uh... the one that's sucking the ice cream?" replied the teacher.
"Well, the answer is the one with the ring, but I like the way you're thinking!"
-Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One muffin said to the other: "Boy! It's getting hot in here!"
The othe muffin screamed: "AHHHHHHH!! IT'S A TALKING MUFFIN!!!$#$%$"
-A pirate returns home after a long sea journey. He goes to his favourite bar and talks to his friend, the bartender.Bartender:
Wow, you certainly have changed since I last saw you!Pirate
: Aye, yes I have.Bartender:
What happend to your leg!Pirate:
Ahh, my leg. Me and my mates got caught in stormy weather. I fell overboard and a shark ate my leg, so now I have a peg leg.Bartender:
What happened to your hand!
Ahh.. my hand. Lost it in a vicious battle with a rival pirate. Now I have a hook.Bartender:
What happend to your eye?Pirate:
Ahh... me eye... It was a beautiful day and I was looking up at the sky... when a blasted seagull pooped on my eye. So now I have an eyepatch.Bartender:
But... you couldn't have lost an eye just from the seagull poop!?Pirate
: Well, I wasn't quite used to the hook yet.